Sept. 20: The Blue Collar Edition

September, huh? Enjoy that Labor Day, then. One day of freedom from the firm and inappropriate grasp of the Man. One day without the clock ticking away those seconds to Friday like little whip cracks in your ear. How's that hot dog taste now? Like despair? Try some horseradish.

Then try a little Speakeasy. On Sept. 20, we invite our writers to take on a subject that has it coming: Work. Follow the lead of that great labor organizer Johnny Paycheck, take that job and shove it ... right down the ear-holes of our overworked audience. Sex, violence, alien life? All those things are great inspiration for writing, but unless your name is William Shatner, you don't spend 40 hours a week plus overtime doing them. So let's get together at your favorite bar and mine and do what folks do at a bar: Bitch about our jobs. You probably shouldn't invite that hottie from human resources this month, though. Just a tip.

- Tod

Phoreshadowing phootnote: School in August, Work in September ... Well, I wonder what we've got lined up in October for Halloween? Hmm. Hmmmmm. Hm. Shrug.

I know what we've got planned in November, though.

Aug. 23: The A+ Edition

Sometimes it's great to be an adult. Especially that particular week in August, when the future leaders of our country pause in their masturbations, sigh, and drag their pimply knuckles out to the bus stop to absorb whatever droplets of wisdom their teachers can squeeze from the stone of the education budget.

Yes, it's back to school time - both for them and for us. For August, the writers of Speakeasy will be challenged to tell us what they learned in school. For those of us that are still there, this should be a cinch. (Your host can barely remember it, but he's not exempt.) So sharpen up those No. 2's, Poindexter. Give us your financial aid tragedies, your tales of classroom boners - hell, this would even be the time to break out your old high school journal. A blackboard will be provided that you may show your work. Or dick drawings.

And let's not forget: This month, Speakeasy is appropriately tardy. We'll be the fourth (NOT the third) Tuesday this time, owing to a music booking at Will's. Ah, getting bullied by shouty dudes with guitars. Takes me right back to 6th period.

- Tod