Aug. 23: The A+ Edition

Sometimes it's great to be an adult. Especially that particular week in August, when the future leaders of our country pause in their masturbations, sigh, and drag their pimply knuckles out to the bus stop to absorb whatever droplets of wisdom their teachers can squeeze from the stone of the education budget.

Yes, it's back to school time - both for them and for us. For August, the writers of Speakeasy will be challenged to tell us what they learned in school. For those of us that are still there, this should be a cinch. (Your host can barely remember it, but he's not exempt.) So sharpen up those No. 2's, Poindexter. Give us your financial aid tragedies, your tales of classroom boners - hell, this would even be the time to break out your old high school journal. A blackboard will be provided that you may show your work. Or dick drawings.

And let's not forget: This month, Speakeasy is appropriately tardy. We'll be the fourth (NOT the third) Tuesday this time, owing to a music booking at Will's. Ah, getting bullied by shouty dudes with guitars. Takes me right back to 6th period.

- Tod