Aug. 20: The Paranoid Edition

Clearly, it's the summer. With weather like this, you really can't be bothered to peel yourself out of the hammock for a bathroom break, much less update a website on a monthly basis. Nope, best to just stay right there and nurse that mojito, behind your picket fence and the razorwire and the gun emplacements.

I mean, have you seen the state we're in? And I mean that both globally and regionally. You can't saunter down to the Wawa for a pack of Skittles without getting a good eyeball-fucking, either from the neighborhood watch or the satellites or both. Can't even relax with a good snort of bath salts anymore. Government's putting all kinds of Zeus knows what in there. And the spiders. Don't even get me started on the spiders.

But this month, Speakeasy's blowing the lid right off this puppy, because our theme for August is Paranoia. Hunker down with us under the big tinfoil hat of Will's Pub, and listen as Orlando's most bug-eyed writers expose the half-truths and the known unknowns. 9 pm-ish as usual, Tuesday Aug. 20 at Will's Pub, true believers. Just make sure to shave your head before you come so we can check you for implants at the door. Fnord.

Can't wait 'til then? Go east, young man. Your host Tod Caviness - the recently-crowned Best Pottymouth in Orlando - will give 'em hell at a featured reading in Cocoa during the Collective Word's open mike, hosted by Speakeasy pal Joe Snyder. That's 8:30 p.m. Tuesday, Aug. 6.

Also also? Check out the spifferiffic new website for the Poetry Vending Machine, now available for wedding, bar mitzvahs, goat sacrifices, square dances and assorted hootenannies. Looks like we ain't so idle this summer after all ...