May 20: The Digital Edition

Here at Speakeasy, we're always so thankful when we can get some asses off the couch for one day a month. It's great to finally see all you deep thinkers getting away from your big screen, and coming down to Will's where you can get onstage and stare at a little screen.

Yeah, that's right. We see how many of you are reading off your iPhones these days. Or playing Candy Crush when you're not onstage. Or beaming dick pics directly into the bartender's retina with your Google Glass.

But do we judge? We do not. We all know that judgement is reserved for bitchfaced weirdos you see on Instagram, not actual nearby people. At Speakeasy, we for one welcome our new robot overlords with a special edition dedicated to Technology. For May 20, our writers are invited to tell us how they feel about living in the future, where no one is more than ten feet away from free porn at any given moment. So shave off those palms and join us at Will's Pub, where the floor is the color of television tuned to a dead channel and there's 50 new flavors of Soma at the bar. We'll gather at the usual wobbly hour of 9 pm, reliable as a new Windows release.

April 15: The Childish Edition

'Sup. If this is your first time checking out the Speakeasy blog, there's a chance you did it because we got some ink recently between a bunch of pictures of lawyers in that magazine you read at the doctor's office. To be honest, we're a little weirded out. But welcome! It's not you, it's us.

Anyway, down to beezwax. Orlando's crotchetiest spoken word night has sidestepped the news long enough: Your host is going to be a daddy. And while the night isn't about me, I figure we'll segue elegantly from last month's theme and make it about me, or more specifically, my gurgling spawn-to-be.

Gather round, class, because the theme for the April edition of Speakeasy is Children's Stories. Because Speakeasy, like Wu-Tang, is for the childrens. Writers are hereby invited to share that most precious (and cheapest) of baby shower gifts and bring their bestest bedtime fables, their Seussiest soliloquies, their most Sendakian send-ups. Don't spend the night in time out - join the shady kids for a little literary recess at Will's Pub, where the drool and vomit will put us all right at home in the playpen. That's Tuesday, April 15 at way past your bedtime. See you there.

- Tod