May 20: The Digital Edition

Here at Speakeasy, we're always so thankful when we can get some asses off the couch for one day a month. It's great to finally see all you deep thinkers getting away from your big screen, and coming down to Will's where you can get onstage and stare at a little screen.

Yeah, that's right. We see how many of you are reading off your iPhones these days. Or playing Candy Crush when you're not onstage. Or beaming dick pics directly into the bartender's retina with your Google Glass.

But do we judge? We do not. We all know that judgement is reserved for bitchfaced weirdos you see on Instagram, not actual nearby people. At Speakeasy, we for one welcome our new robot overlords with a special edition dedicated to Technology. For May 20, our writers are invited to tell us how they feel about living in the future, where no one is more than ten feet away from free porn at any given moment. So shave off those palms and join us at Will's Pub, where the floor is the color of television tuned to a dead channel and there's 50 new flavors of Soma at the bar. We'll gather at the usual wobbly hour of 9 pm, reliable as a new Windows release.