Speakeasy Holiday Toast-Off

Drinking? Sure, it's OK. But this, oh my children, is America (fuck yeah). And there is nothing that can't be improved on with a little healthy competition. So it is that Speakeasy presents it's perennial holiday favorite: The Toast-Off. On Tuesday, Dec. 21 at 9:30 p.m., eight of the funniest patsies your host could find will engage in a competitive toasting match. No, not the toast you eat with eggs. The kind you do with a drink in your hand.

This ingeniously stupid idea was first thunk up by touring poet Christian Drake, and it involves a little improv, a little poetry and a lot of hangover. Competitors will face off head-to-head, composing on-the-spot toasts to a variety of subjects pulled out of a hat. The funniest/cleverest/poignant-est toast wins, as decreed by our panel of celebrity judges. Best of three goes on to the next round. Do the math, and this adds up to a lot of drinking, both for our competitors and for the crowd that happens to be toasting along. We'd tell you how much fun this was when we did it at the Fringe Festival last May, but we don't remember a goddamn thing.

Tuesday. Dec. 21. 9:30 p.m. Free. No excuses. There may well be the usual open mike later, pending consciousness.