Thursday, April 16, 2015

April 21: The Worst Edition

It's April! Easter happened! And ... also we had some rain? None of this lends itself to a theme. Maybe we could recycle an old theme, because Earth Day?

You know what? Screw it. We're still exhausted from taxes. And no, the theme won't be money because we don't have any and we did that already too. For April 21, Orlando's laziest open mike spoken word night will be dedicated to Bad Poetry. You all have some. And you all have it saved somewhere because you probably wrote it about a crush. Well, drag that sad sack up to Will's Pub and unpack, Shakespeare. We'll be laughing at you, and with you. Cheaper than therapy and the drinks will be a lot better.

That's 9 p.m. SHARP* at Will's Pub, your refuge from the rest of overachieving Orlando. It might be awful, but at least it's free.

* No, really.**

**  Stop laughing.***

*** OK, for real though. We have this thing going on at 11 pm after us, so we gotta put a lid on it. You should stay for it, though. It might lead to dancing.

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

March 24: The Lucky Edition

For the tl;dr crowd: Orlando's least regular open mike spoken word night will be on March 24 this month. That's a week late, because March 17 is reserved for a drinking holiday so severe that we can't have any poets around being coherent and spoiling it for everybody else. Fair enough. (If you're still inclined to head to Will's that night, we hear there's a pretty good horn section involved.)

Now then: Speaking of St. Paddy's Day, the theme for Speakeasy will be Luck. Come along and suffer as our writers haul out the literary slings and arrows and let fly with tales of outrageous fortune - either good or bad. Or they'll just read whatever they brought that night and pretend that's what it's about, like always. Admittedly, it's a pretty vague topic, and you know what? We're darn lucky to have them read either way. Awww.

The night, as always, is free and open to whatever you got. Straighten that tam o'shanter, grab your leprechaun-kickin' boots and be timely: The banshees begin a'wailin' around 9 p.m. Tuesday, March 24 at Will's Pub.

Sunday, February 8, 2015

Feb. 17: The Magical Edition

Look deep into our eyes, don't break the circle and keep your hands on the planchette.

We hairless apes have believed in a lot of crazy things since we stopped flinging poop: Gods and demons. The Fountain of Youth. The Atkins diet. The innocence of OJ Simpson. And how? Language. This crazy quilt of grunts and squeals has allowed us to convey hidden truths - and hide the smell on all kinds of bullshit. To put it simply, language is sorcery. Which is why the theme for the February edition of Orlando's most immortal spoken word night is Magic. Because all spells are spoken, and somewhere in this alphabet of sigils is the combination that will save your soul - or at least get you laid.

Presto chango, abracadabra, klaatu nikto barada: You're all poetry fans. See? It's as easy as that. To remove the curse, just bring some eye of newt, one live chicken and your most conveniently available horcrux to Will's Pub at 9 p.m.-ish on Tuesday, Feb. 17. Admission is free as always, but the beer selection has been known to make your mad money disappear.


Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Jan. 20: The Historical Edition

New year, new resolutions ... and for many of us, the same old mistakes. You Speakeasy regulars should know. Hell, some of you have been trying to pick up dates at a spoken word night for years. Silly monkeys.

Well, no more! Let's sally into 2015 with an educational look back. For January, the theme of the month is History. History, after all, is written by the winners - and the last time I checked, Will's Pub was chock full of winners. (Granted, I was checking the scoreboard on the pinball machine.) Old war stories. Limericks about the trail of tears. Poems about George Bush - hey, that hasn't been done before. Bring 'em all, and let's cushion the time travel with a couple beers. Hopefully some brain cells will survive to warn the rest of the tribe.

That's Will's Pub, 9 pm Tuesday, Jan. 20, a date that will live in flippancy. See you in the history books, y'all.


Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Dec. 16: The Gifted Edition

Yea, and the three wise men did look to the north, where a bright star glittered on the horizon. And one of the wise men squinted unto that star, and spake unto the rest, saying, "Hold up, that's just the sign over Will's Pub." And being wise men, the three did bail upon Bethlehem, to partake of much wickedness and prose at that first Speakeasy spoken word night.

That's how we remember it, anyway. So this December, let's commemorate the Christmas arrival of those three charitable dudes, who totally left their frankincense behind in the sound booth. (Casey tried to snort it, and his septum hasn't been the same since.) Our first gift to you: The painfully easy theme of Christmas. The second: Our annual Whiteful Frightful Elephant Book Exchange! Every reader at Speakeasy on Dec. 16 gets a free book. The catch: You have to choose them from the mystery pile of books left by your host and fellow readers, who as regulars know are all horrible people. Got a book to inflict? Wrap it up all shiny and bring it along, then share some literary cheer. Get on our list (and the naughty one) at 9 p.m. Dec. 16, right under the eternal mistletoe at Will's Pub.

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Nov. 18: The Geriatric Edition (12 Year Anniversary!)

We're not much for nostalgia here at Orlando's oldest spoken word night. But let us give you a little perspective on exactly how old: Before Speakeasy, your humble host was just another class clown angling for a degree in scatology at his favorite poetry night - The Backroom Words. If you blow the dust off the old website for the Backroom Words (and we don't recommend you do; it's pretty spammy these days) you'll find this post from Nov. 18, 2002:

Your host, circa too early to think about.
Like a gangly teenager hitting puberty, the Backroom Words is going through all sorts of changes. After a couple of weeks off following the departure of the mighty Patrick Scott Barnes, the night will now be hosted by a skinny white guy. Foul play has been suspected, and fingers have been pointed at the KKK, NOW, and the Young Republicans. New host Tod Caviness was unavailable for comment, but has been spotted with a new wardrobe and several gold teeth.

12 years, you guys! Ouch. The gold teeth have long since rotted out, and the wardrobe ... well, that's pretty much the same. Let's celebrate this anniversary with our customary reverence by making fun of the elderly with a night dedicated to Old Age. Remember when them poems used to rhyme? When haikus were actually about nature? Pepperidge Farm remembers, and you can too as our writers give us a little of that old-timey verse and classy, classic prose.

Or just some rants about incontinence and diapers, like we usually do. Up to you.

Get off my lawn you whippersnappers, and down to Will's Pub at 9-ish pm on Tuesday, Nov. 18. Free like the internet used to be, and open to readers old and new.

- Tod

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Sept. 23: The Immature Edition

Useful info first: Speakeasy's a week late this month, so don't show up until Sept. 23 with your notebooks and whatnot. There's still plenty of reason for you to drop by Will's Pub in the meantime, but you'll need both hands for the drinking. Will's is celebrating a 19th anniversary this month, and they just needed the extra week to get some debauchery out of the way.

Which brings us to the theme. 19 years, huh? Mighty old for a bar, yet still not drinking age. Those of us who remember Will's Pub's original location have been chugging that beer like it was forbidden fruit for a long time, so let's commemorate that golden age when it actually was. For this September Speakeasy, our writers are invited to tackle Adolescence. Channel your inner Holden Caulfield and give us a little angst and a lot of hormones. Rage against authority, curfews and acne. Or, you know, write some poetry.

Sept. 23 at 9-ish pm, free as usual. Join us and don't be late, teen angels. We'll tell Mom you were at the movies.