Sunday, November 2, 2014

Nov. 18: The Geriatric Edition (12 Year Anniversary!)

We're not much for nostalgia here at Orlando's oldest spoken word night. But let us give you a little perspective on exactly how old: Before Speakeasy, your humble host was just another class clown angling for a degree in scatology at his favorite poetry night - The Backroom Words. If you blow the dust off the old website for the Backroom Words (and we don't recommend you do; it's pretty spammy these days) you'll find this post from Nov. 18, 2002:

Your host, circa too early to think about.
Like a gangly teenager hitting puberty, the Backroom Words is going through all sorts of changes. After a couple of weeks off following the departure of the mighty Patrick Scott Barnes, the night will now be hosted by a skinny white guy. Foul play has been suspected, and fingers have been pointed at the KKK, NOW, and the Young Republicans. New host Tod Caviness was unavailable for comment, but has been spotted with a new wardrobe and several gold teeth.

12 years, you guys! Ouch. The gold teeth have long since rotted out, and the wardrobe ... well, that's pretty much the same. Let's celebrate this anniversary with our customary reverence by making fun of the elderly with a night dedicated to Old Age. Remember when them poems used to rhyme? When haikus were actually about nature? Pepperidge Farm remembers, and you can too as our writers give us a little of that old-timey verse and classy, classic prose.

Or just some rants about incontinence and diapers, like we usually do. Up to you.

Get off my lawn you whippersnappers, and down to Will's Pub at 9-ish pm on Tuesday, Nov. 18. Free like the internet used to be, and open to readers old and new.

- Tod

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Sept. 23: The Immature Edition

Useful info first: Speakeasy's a week late this month, so don't show up until Sept. 23 with your notebooks and whatnot. There's still plenty of reason for you to drop by Will's Pub in the meantime, but you'll need both hands for the drinking. Will's is celebrating a 19th anniversary this month, and they just needed the extra week to get some debauchery out of the way.

Which brings us to the theme. 19 years, huh? Mighty old for a bar, yet still not drinking age. Those of us who remember Will's Pub's original location have been chugging that beer like it was forbidden fruit for a long time, so let's commemorate that golden age when it actually was. For this September Speakeasy, our writers are invited to tackle Adolescence. Channel your inner Holden Caulfield and give us a little angst and a lot of hormones. Rage against authority, curfews and acne. Or, you know, write some poetry.

Sept. 23 at 9-ish pm, free as usual. Join us and don't be late, teen angels. We'll tell Mom you were at the movies.

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Aug. 19: The Hawks & Doves Edition

We here at Speakeasy love to be recognized when Orlando goes around handing out imaginary prizes, but we're not the competitive sort. We're lovers, not fighters. Mostly. Actually, wait, we spend a lot of time talking about books, so not lovers. What's that other thing? Lazy. Yeah, that's us.

So in this hottest of months, let's get a little hot-blooded, shall we? For the August edition of Orlando's least political spoken word night, writers are invited to tackle the theme of War & Peace. That's two themes, of course, and in these days of crumbling borders and hardening opinions, you're bound to piss someone off no matter which one you pick. But hey, let's do it anyway. Take a stand on the ongoing conflicts of Israel vs. Palestine, Russia vs. Ukraine, Tom vs. Jerry. Worst case scenario: barfight, best case: world peace.

Here at Speakeasy, we didn't start the fire - but we're happy to throw some booze on it. See you at 9 pm Aug. 19 on the frontlines at Will's Pub.

Thursday, July 31, 2014

We're number #1!

Thanks, Orlando Weekly readers! You voted Speakeasy into the top spot in this year's Best of Orlando issue. We pledge to spend the rest of 2014 doing the things that made us your favorite Literary Reading Series: Letting any old pottymouth just show up and rant while we drink.

Your confidence makes us all warm in our special places. Come be a winner with us on Aug. 19 - theme coming up soon.

Sunday, July 6, 2014

July 15: The Sunshiney Edition

In case you've been smart enough to stay inside lately, let us pop in for a little weather update.

Hmm. Yep. Second degree burns from the car seat. Balls boiling in the crock-pot of our pants like a couple of fuzzy ravioli. It's July, all right. It will never get more Florida than it is right now. (What's that? SHUT UP, man. Maybe August will leave if we ignore it.)

Lord knows that writers can't rain dance, so let's appease the sun gods the only way we know how: With an edition of Orlando's sweatiest spoken word open mike dedicated to Florida. This would be the time to break out those love letters to Casey Anthony you never sent, your recipe for orange-flavored bath salts in sonnet form. We're living in a land with more drama than George Zimmerman adopting Elian Gonzalez. If you can't make some literary hay outta that, maybe it's time to bow to the economy and open up a meth lab like the rest of the state.

Can't take the heat, get into our bitchin'. That's 9:00 pm Eastern Sloppy Time on Tuesday, July 17 at Will's Pub, fellow daughters and suns of sunshine. Be there or we'll play Jimmy Buffet covers instead.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

June 24: The Celebrity Edition

First things first: That's June 24 this month, not the third Tuesday. Yes, Speakeasy itself will be late, which means this event notice is right on time.

So what do we have on tap for June? Glad you asked. The theme of the month is Celebrity, because what better time than summer to set the bar low? At this month's open mike, let's all pretend we write for the supermarket tabloids and come up with some gossip about our favorite Bright Young Things. It's easy: "Scandal! [Pop singer] caught in [illegal drug] frenzy with [has-been actress], calls [government offical] [racial epithet]. Article sponsored by [legal drug]."

Rest of the thing writes itself, so no excuses for the late notice. Follow the red carpet to Will's Pub in the fashionably late neighborhood of 9 p.m. on Tuesday, June 24. We'll make ye famous, kid.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

May 20: The Digital Edition

Here at Speakeasy, we're always so thankful when we can get some asses off the couch for one day a month. It's great to finally see all you deep thinkers getting away from your big screen, and coming down to Will's where you can get onstage and stare at a little screen.

Yeah, that's right. We see how many of you are reading off your iPhones these days. Or playing Candy Crush when you're not onstage. Or beaming dick pics directly into the bartender's retina with your Google Glass.

But do we judge? We do not. We all know that judgement is reserved for bitchfaced weirdos you see on Instagram, not actual nearby people. At Speakeasy, we for one welcome our new robot overlords with a special edition dedicated to Technology. For May 20, our writers are invited to tell us how they feel about living in the future, where no one is more than ten feet away from free porn at any given moment. So shave off those palms and join us at Will's Pub, where the floor is the color of television tuned to a dead channel and there's 50 new flavors of Soma at the bar. We'll gather at the usual wobbly hour of 9 pm, reliable as a new Windows release.