Nov. 15: The Household Edition

Home: It's where the heart is, and your couch, and your porn. It might be a mansion, or a cardboard box. If you're an idealist in New York, it might be a spot on the street with a thousand other people. If you're an American in 1492, you might even have to sail across a whole ocean and steal it from some prairie arabs. In short, ain't nobody can tell you where yours is.

So hey, why don't you tell us? On Nov. 15, Speakeasy challenges its writers to invite us in. Take our coats. Throw us a cold one from the fridge, and tackle the subject of Home, whatever that may mean. Who needs the second-hand drama of the Thanksgiving table? For a couple hours at least, let's hang our hats at Will's Pub and create a little of our own.

One thing we've learned from Thanksgiving, though (and every single Speakeasy) - nothing loosens the tongue like a little booze. So we're kicking off this month with another round of your host's favorite drinking game, the Toast-Off. See eight of Orlando's glibbest guys and gals face-off in an increasingly blurry game of competitive toasting. If you haven't seen one before, either at Will's or onstage at the Orlando Fringe, trust us: you're in for a good time. No celebrity judges this time, boys and girls. Just eight drinkers versus a loud and opinionated audience. Moo hoo ha ha.

Your host, on the other hand, will still likely be drunk. I'll be competing in Orlando's second Literary Deathmatch on Nov. 13 against the likes of Kat Dixon, Rachel Kapitan and J. Christopher Silvia. If you saw the inaugural LDM at Urban ReThink, you know there's no good reason not to come to this one, people. Hit the link and get your tickets toot suite.

- Tod

Oct. 18: The Monstrous Edition

Well, so much for the original idea for this month's theme. I don't know about the three of you reading this, but it's been kind of a weird October so far for your host. And though I don't have any Halloween plans, I could really use a decent mask.

Because that's really what we're rolling down those costume store aisles for, right? A rental on the new you? A role you don't even have to play that well because hey, it's only for one night? We let our inner child float up to the top of a gutful of booze to shout that catchphrase we actually believed back in the day. Then we vomit him onto the sidewalk and stagger home in our Ninja Turtle shell. (Or for you downtown ladies: Our "sexy" Ninja Turtle shell.)

Oh hell, where was I going with this? Heroes? No. Monsters. That's it.

For this all-hallowed October Speakeasy, our writers are invited to hold forth on the subject of Monsters. Fun fact that you pagans already know: Despite the glut of Casey Anthonys and Donald Trumps that will choke Orange Avenue this year, Halloween was actually invented to drive away the ghosts and goblins. But here at Will's Pub, for one night, on Oct. 18, we're giving them safe harbor. Give us your tales of scaly abominations, of moonlight transformations. Step up and hit that mike with a Godzilla howl. And oh yes, hit the bar as necessary. Nothing like a night like this to get rid of the pain of being a man.

- Tod